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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22486294">Drift Compatible</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/phnelt/pseuds/phnelt'>phnelt</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Leverage Works [11]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Leverage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Pacific Rim Fusion, Angst, Eliot has a hard time, F/M, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Sad with a Happy Ending, offscreen npc death, v shape relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 14:28:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,355</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22486294</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/phnelt/pseuds/phnelt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“So,” she said, eyes gleaming, “you have a crush on Alec.”</p>
<p>He didn’t try to deny it. “Dammit, Parker, that’s private.”</p>
<p>She cocked her head, “There is no privacy in the Drift.”</p>
<p>Eliot clenched his jaw. Yeah. That’s what he hated about it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alec Hardison/Eliot Spencer, Alec Hardison/Parker, Parker &amp; Eliot Spencer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Leverage Works [11]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1432003</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>221</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Drift Compatible</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I'll just write a quick, fun, Pacific Rim AU, I said. It'll be like a writing exercise, I said. Three months later, here we are.</p>
<p>Deep thanks to Karios for being real gentle with me and to sapote for also the same cause I needed double.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
Eliot let his eyes flutter open as he disconnected from the Drift. Normally, he snapped himself out as quickly as possible, knowing that this was when he was most vulnerable, but this time he allowed himself this tiny luxury and put off the inevitable. Just for a second.
</p>
<p>
As soon as he opened his eyes, Parker was hanging from the rig above him, upside down, staring at him. She’d clearly detached herself in record speed from their Jaeger <em>The Brewpub</em>, a giant robot purpose built to kill the aliens that had been regularly invading their planet for the last fifteen years. It had been Eliot’s home with Parker for the last twelve months. When they were inside of it they shared a brain, which was unfortunate, because it meant Parker knew what she was talking about when she said:
</p>
<p>
“So,” she said, eyes gleaming, “you have a crush on Alec.”
</p>
<p>
He didn’t try to deny it. “Dammit, Parker, that’s private.”
</p>
<p>
She cocked her head, “There is no privacy in the Drift.”
</p>
<p>
Eliot clenched his jaw. Yeah. That’s what he hated about it.
</p>
<p>
“Well, I’m not going to do anything about it,” he said, trying not to let the bitterness seep in.
</p>
<p>
“Why not?” Parker sounded genuinely surprised.
</p>
<p>
This pulled Eliot up short. “Because he’s...your boyfriend?”
</p>
<p>
“I don’t own him,” Parker said, scornfully. “You should --”
</p>
<p>
Before Eliot could hear what he should do, the top of the Jaeger popped open and their base commander, Nate, was there, ready to take their report. 
</p>
<p>
The war against the Kaiju was going poorly, but at least it was a distraction from Eliot’s personal life. <em>Thanks for helping me out, Kaiju</em>, Eliot thought with some irony.
</p>
<p>
***
</p>
<p>
“Wait up!” Hardison pushed his way past two techs. Hardison was jogging, trying to catch up to Eliot in the hallway of the base. The place had been custom built to build and launch Jaegers, which meant some areas were built to Jaeger scale, and some were built to human scale, like this hallway. It gave the place a sort of <em>Alice in Wonderland </em>effect, where Eliot felt like he was either growing or shrinking as he moved from wing to wing. Unfortunately, there was no pill to shrink him down small enough that Hardison wouldn’t be able to see him, so to try and get away Eliot walked faster.
</p>
<p>
Not fast enough. A few seconds later, Hardison caught up, huffing a little. “Are you deaf? Didn’t you hear me?”
</p>
<p>
Eliot bit back a few comments to that and settled on, “What do you want, Hardison?” He used his best growl, but if it phased Hardison, he didn’t let on.
</p>
<p>
“I was talking to Parker --”
</p>
<p>
Eliot cut him off, “Jesus Christ.” He pulled on Hardison’s hand. “Not here.” Eliot jiggled some door handles until one gave and he pulled Hardison in after him. The room turned out to be occupied with some math types, and the air was thick with chalk dust and the weight of equations that were more symbols than numbers. 
</p>
<p>
Two men startled, frozen mid-chalk stroke.
</p>
<p>
Eliot glared at them and they both flinched, which made Eliot feel a little better. He still had it.
</p>
<p>
“Do you...need the room?” the one on the left asked.
</p>
<p>
Eliot nodded and they hustled out past him, giving him a wide berth.
</p>
<p>
As soon as the door clicked, Eliot wheeled around. “I can’t believe she told you.” 
</p>
<p>
Alec crossed his arms, defiant when he should surrender, like always. “There are no secrets in the Drift.”
</p>
<p>
“But you’re not in the Drift,” Eliot felt compelled to point out. Hardison had never Drifted with anyone.
</p>
<p>
“You throwing that in my face? Man, you know that’s why she told me.” Hardison’s hands had unfurled and were tracing patterns in the air, disturbing the chalk and making the air dance with the movement of his fingertips. Eliot tried not to follow them with his eyes, but that left him looking at Hardison’s face, which he also tried not to let himself do. Hardison’s brows were furrowed but his eyes were as bright and clear as ever. There was a light inside of Hardison’s mind, a brilliance that shone out into everything he did.
</p>
<p>
“No freaky Drift secrets are getting between us.” Hardison didn’t sound as upset about it as Eliot thought he should be. Hardison and Parker had tried and failed to Drift many times. Every time Parker had kicked him out. 
</p>
<p>
Eliot’s mouth felt dry. “That’s why she told you?” Despite himself, Eliot leaned in a little.
</p>
<p>
Hardison mirrored him, taking a step in. Lowering his voice, he said, “Well, that, and she wants me to have nice things.”
</p>
<p>
The words were like a bucket of ice water. Eliot wasn’t Parker’s to hand out as she pleased, and she knew better than to think this would work out well. She knew better than anyone.
</p>
<p>
“I ain’t nice,” he growled, and tried to push past Hardison.
</p>
<p>
Hardison grabbed his arm, tight, fingers digging into the soft fabric of Eliot’s worn sweater. “Why can’t you just let yourself be happy for one minute? We could be dead tomorrow.” 
</p>
<p>
Eliot didn’t need a lecture. 
</p>
<p>
He kept his eyes on Hardison’s fingers until Hardison got the message and loosened them a little.
</p>
<p>
The moment he thought it wouldn’t hurt too bad, Eliot yanked himself free. Eliot straightened his sweater, trying to shake the lingering warmth from Hardison’s hand.
</p>
<p>
***
</p>
<p>
<em>You’re not mad, </em>Parker thought at him when they were taking <em>The Brewpub</em> out on patrol. Their Jaeger was dropped in the Pacific, close to their Oregon coast base, and their goal was just to walk around in their giant robots and look for Kaiju activity. Kaiju were usually easy to spot because the ocean in the Pacific Northwest was as grey as the sky, and most of the Kaiju glowed blue or had massive coloured spikes on them.
</p>
<p>
Patrolling was an innovation of Nate’s. He called it ‘predictive patrolling,’ aiming to be at the site of a breach when it happened. They couldn’t have done this in the old Jaegers -- the strain on the body was too great to stay in them for this long.
</p>
<p>
Unfortunately, this left them with a lot of time to talk.
</p>
<p>
Parker was right though, he couldn’t be mad at her, not when they were like this. It would be worse than being mad at himself -- something he was no slouch at. Being mad at his Drift partner would be something more primal than that and twice as wrong. 
</p>
<p>
He knew because he’d tried to stay mad before, all it had done was give him a headache. Not with Parker -- Eliot had Drifted before. He knew all the ins and outs of sharing his mind with someone. 
</p>
<p>
After he lost his first Jaeger, Eliot never thought he’d Drift again.
</p>
<p>
Then Nate had dragged him out of the hole he’d crawled into to lick his wounds. First, it was just for a job. But the moment he crossed staves with Parker, they knew they were compatible. 
</p>
<p>
Funny how one decision led him down a path to where he was now, trudging through the Pacific with Parker in a shell her boyfriend had built for them.
</p>
<p>
<em>Why won’t you think about it? </em>The woman was relentless.
</p>
<p>
There was no separation in the Jaeger, not from Parker, and not from his memories.
</p>
<p>
In the Drift, his memories crashed into him and the Drift dragged him under. As soon as he remembered, it was like he was transported back.
</p>
<p>
He remembered: Sam raising an eyebrow saying, <em>Oh, that’s how it is? </em>
</p>
<p>
Eliot grinning back, all teeth, accepting whatever gauntlet Sam was going to throw down -- Sparring against a crowd and no one could touch them, never could --Sam smiling, leaning in, and Eliot meeting him halfway, shockingly gentle until it wasn’t -- The heat from his body, consuming them, when they fell into bed together, laughing. The way they tangled together, sweat, and muscle, making it count ‘cause <em>who knows you might be dead tomorrow </em>--
</p>
<p>
And, suddenly --
</p>
<p>
Eliot screaming as Sam was ripped away, <em>The Falcon </em>ripped in two, gushing hydraulic fluid into the ocean, mingling with the green blood from the cat IV who went down, not before taking them -- him -- them out too. 
</p>
<p>
Eliot remembers seeing Sam, but not just seeing because he was inside Sam, and a part of Sam. 
</p>
<p>
But he wasn’t alone in this memory. Parker was watching as Sam was ripped away, from behind Eliot’s eyes. He could see anguish on her face and he knew exactly how she was feeling because he was feeling it first. 
</p>
<p>
Eliot tried to pull away from her, protect her. He was yanking at the memory, trying to get away --
</p>
<p>
And then he was alone.
</p>
<p>
But it was the worst sort of alone, a cavern of emptiness inside that Eliot rattled around in. A suffocating emptiness and Eliot couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t <em>breathe</em>--
</p>
<p>
Then Parker was back, a light in the total darkness.
</p>
<p>
She threw a memory at him, one at first, then more and more.
</p>
<p>
First, an old one. Parker was young, navigating an obstacle course to get a sundae -- then older, clinging to a girder as an endless train went by overhead -- and finally, sitting in the cafeteria yesterday, eating something that was supposedly custard. 
</p>
<p>
Each one so obviously <em>not his memory </em>that they pushed him back into his body. Where before there was no separation, just the howling of past and present and him and Parker tangled up together inside it, now there was clarity.
</p>
<p>
Eliot gasped and felt the air rush into his lungs so fast it burned on the way down. 
</p>
<p>
Parker showed him the patchwork quilt of her life and helped him find the seams of his own.
</p>
<p>
He settled back into his body and opened his eyes to double vision.
</p>
<p>
Parker was looking at him, and he was looking through her, looking at him. He blinked, hard, and when he opened them again, he was just looking at her, her left eyebrow raised.
</p>
<p>
This was why there was never one pilot in the Drift -- the danger of getting lost was too damn high. 
</p>
<p>
One of the great misunderstandings about Jaeger piloting was that the best pilots were twins. It wasn’t the sameness that made people drift compatible, it was the differences. 
</p>
<p>
<em>Stay with me, </em>Parker thought at him.
</p>
<p>
<em>I’m trying.</em>
</p>
<p>
The radio was crackling but Eliot couldn’t respond. He was just focusing on being <em>not dead. </em>Surprisingly tricky to get the hang of it. He knew, even though he wasn’t paying attention, that Parker was reassuring Sophie, even so it wasn’t a surprise when she recalled them back to the hangar.
</p>
<p>
When the techs cracked <em>The Brewpub</em> open, Hardison’s face was the first thing Eliot saw. Hardison’s mouth was a thin line in his face, just a downward slash.His eyes were clouded. He had his hands out already, like he was going to catch someone, but Parker wasn’t even looking at him. She only had eyes for Eliot, immediately gripping his hand and not letting go.
</p>
<p>
Leaving the Drift got people like that sometimes, a sense of loneliness so strong that the only thing that touched it was the pale echo of physical contact. Eliot would be a filthy liar if he said he wasn’t feeling it himself so he reeled her in and she clung to him, her blonde hair falling around them both like a cage of light. 
</p>
<p>
Before Parker pushed Hardison away to get to Eliot, Eliot saw Hardison’s hands drop. 
</p>
<p>
He should push Parker towards Hardison, but well, he’s always been too selfish. If Hardison had expected different, he shouldn’t have fallen in love with a Jaeger pilot.
</p>
<p>
In another lifetime, Eliot heard someone ask, <em>do you really want to die without having loved?</em> But Eliot’s done both, the loving and the dying, and the living afterward is the worst part. 
</p>
<p>
***
</p>
<p>
After the medics let him out, he went back to his room. They’d pried Parker off of him cause it was messing up their readings. He hoped she went back to Hardison.
</p>
<p>
Eliot, for his part, planned to settle in with a trashy adventure book he’d been reading. His plan was ruined when there was a knock on the door.
</p>
<p>
“Parker,” he called out, “Don’t you have something better to do?” But he was smiling as he opened the door.
</p>
<p>
Eliot stopped short, eyebrows coming together and Hardison had to push past him to get into the room; belatedly Eliot noticed that Parker was there, just hidden behind him. 
</p>
<p>
“We brought popcorn!” Parker crowed, shaking a bowl. Eliot heard the kernels roll around.
</p>
<p>
Hardison smiled. “And a movie to go with it.”
</p>
<p>
Eliot was still standing there, jaw open, and snapped it closed. He’d thought Hardison would want nothing to do with him after their talk. Sure, post-mission movie nights had been their ritual, but Eliot had expected that to go away.
</p>
<p>
But no, here he was, setting up a projector he’d jury-rigged himself and elbowing his way onto Eliot’s bed, bookending Eliot with Parker on the other side. Hardison didn’t even complain when Eliot and Parker laughed at parts that were only funny to themselves.
</p>
<p>
***
</p>
<p>
After that, Eliot felt himself get pulled into a vortex; both Hardison and Parker seemed determined to keep him company at all times. Post-mission movie nights turned into daily TV time. He never managed to eat alone either; one or the other would appear in the mess just as he was digging in. 
</p>
<p>
It was kind of funny, Eliot was both the least and most alone man in the world. 
</p>
<p>
Least alone because in a Jaeger no one was alone, and most alone because, well, Sam was gone. Most people who went down in a Jaeger went down together. Eliot had never met anyone else like him. He wondered if he’d be able to tell if he did, if they’d carry a second shadow with them that he could see. 
</p>
<p>
He figured it probably wasn’t so visible. Anyone looking at Eliot would see one man, not half of one.
</p>
<p>
Only Parker knew the exact shape of the hole Eliot had walking around inside of him. Her response was mostly to feed him. And somehow Hardison didn’t seem to care that half the time Parker turned to Eliot to share a joke instead of him.
</p>
<p>
They fell into a pattern. They’d come together for meals, and then back to one of their rooms, or -- as was happening more and more, Parker would get pulled by Nate or Sophie to work on assessing the base’s defenses and Hardison would go back to his lab to design more fantastic weapons and Eliot would follow. He’d sit there as Hardison was ranting about something, or tinkering, and it was...restful. Eliot couldn’t remember the last time he felt quiet without the tinge of panic.
</p>
<p>
Hardison’s hands were always moving, always tinkering. He’d built <em>The Brewpub</em> for them, the most state-of-the-art Jaeger there was. Sometimes, when they spent time together, Eliot would try to read, but he’d always end up watching Hardison’s hands move as he explained his latest theory. His fingers would trace out the promise of his next invention, all the while saying his wild theories like, “--I’m just saying, how do they zero in on populations? Is it like birds and magnetic fields? Or maybe more like humans with rain; did you know people can smell rain way more than sharks can smell blood? What’s up with that? It’s gotta be some sort of hive consciousness, sending back tips and tricks. Five ways to ruin a human’s day: the second one will shock you. You know?”
</p>
<p>
Eliot would just let it wash over him. He didn’t get why Hardison wanted to spend time with him, but it seemed safe enough to let himself have this.
</p>
<p>
***
</p>
<p>
<em>We’re not naive.</em>
</p>
<p>
Parker was annoyed. Annoyed enough to interrupt Eliot’s concentration to start an argument. He guessed it was as good a time as any, even though technically they were mid-fight. It was a Cat I Kaiju, so it didn’t really count.
</p>
<p>
He sent back confusion and was almost knocked back by a wave of <em>don’t you even pretend </em>from Parker. 
</p>
<p>
<em>Was Sam the first time you lost someone?</em>
</p>
<p>
The hydraulics of <em>The Brewpub</em> shifted before Eliot’s eyes and twisted and he was back in <em>The Falcon</em>, watching -- and Parker surrounded him with a ring of light, tethering him here as he they delivered the final punch, bringing the Kaiju down.
</p>
<p>
He thought about it as the Kaiju slipped beneath the wave. Lots of people died on him, some during the first Kaiju appearances, some before. His dad hadn’t spoken to him in years, but it still hurt like hell when he got confirmation that his dad hadn’t made it, dead in the first attack. 
</p>
<p>
Unlike Hardison and Parker, he remembered what life was like before the Kaiju came. He knew Parker had flashes from when she was a little girl, but it wasn’t a lot. She didn’t really get the scope of what they’d lost. 
</p>
<p>
Instead, she’d been forged in an environment of permanent danger. But there was a lot imbued in what Parker meant by ‘someone,’ it encompassed something more than just someone Eliot knew -- she meant someone precious. 
</p>
<p>
He offered up Sam’s wry sense of humour, his bedrock sense of right and wrong. 
</p>
<p>
She acknowledged the memories like she would admire a piece of art, with appreciation and respect. It was genuine and it made Eliot feel better about showing her the things he’d usually keep hidden. He realised this was why he never talked about Sam. He couldn’t take the idea that someone would hear about him and think he was ordinary, or worse yet, try to say they understood, that they’d been there. No one had been where Eliot had.
</p>
<p>
He thought about her original question: had he lost someone? <em>Yes, but no one like Sam</em>, no one could ever be like Sam, the loss that obliterated all the others. 
</p>
<p>
Parker nodded, and they started trudging back to land.
</p>
<p>
<em>Alec and I have lost people too. </em>Eliot was listening. They never talked about their lives from before. <em>Before we had each other, that was all we did. Lose people. </em>
</p>
<p>
Eliot tried to understand what she meant. She sent flashes of when she was little, moving from place to place, nowhere permanent, never being wanted. She showed him wanting to feel nothing at all because all there was was pain.<em> When we chose to be together, we knew what we were doing. We know one of us is going to die -- probably me. </em>
</p>
<p>
Eliot fought down the surge of ‘no fucking way’ that he felt, trying not to rock the stability of the Drift. 
</p>
<p>
<em>We chose to be together anyway. It’s stupid for you to treat us like kids who’ve eaten too much candy.</em>
</p>
<p>
Eliot thought about them together. They were sweet. They held hands, and when Parker was talking Hardison looked at Parker like she was the most interesting person in the room. He got her point about how he treated them, but he didn’t mean it like that. If he treated them like they were kids, it wasn’t kids who had made a mistake. It was that he wanted to put them inside a bubble where no one else could hurt them; the only way to protect something so precious. 
</p>
<p>
<em>Things that are in bubbles don’t get to live, Eliot. </em>
</p>
<p>
***
</p>
<p>
When they got back to base and the shell cracked open, Hardison wasn’t there. Eliot frowned. It was tradition for Hardison to be there, checking them over just as much as <em>The Brewpub</em>.
</p>
<p>
He and Parker exchanged glances. “Quarters,” she said.
</p>
<p>
“Lab,” he said, and they split up.
</p>
<p>
Eliot hoped Hardison was just taking a nap, and his heart sunk when he opened the door and saw Hardison’s outline. If he’d gotten caught up in something, who knows how long he’d been there without taking a break.
</p>
<p>
Then Eliot took in the details of the room.
</p>
<p>
There was a tank bubbling in the corner in an ominous green way. Eliot knew the base kept Kaiju tissue -- that’s why Parker had to spend so much time contingency planning. That was already bad enough, why would Hardison need that out of its secure area? But Eliot saw cables running from the tank, plugging into Hardison’s prototype cockpit design. He’d been working on it for ages, saying it was never good enough.
</p>
<p>
It was clearly good enough for him to get inside and <em>plug himself into a Kaiju. </em>
</p>
<p>
Eliot didn’t know what to do.
</p>
<p>
You couldn’t just yank someone out of the Drift. That’s what happened to him when Sam was ripped away; the shock alone nearly killed Eliot. Eliot could still see what was going on around him when he was Drifting. He had to hope it was the same for Hardison.
</p>
<p>
He skidded in front of Hardison and dropped to his knees. “Hardison,” he breathed and Hardison’s eyes snapped open. Eliot had to stop himself from reaching out, instinctively responding to the pain that was twisting Hardison’s expression.
</p>
<p>
“They see me,” Hardison said, and Eliot’s blood ran cold.
</p>
<p>
“How do I get you out?” Eliot asked urgently.
</p>
<p>
“Button…” Hardison said before he squeezed his eyes shut, breathing coming heavily.
</p>
<p>
Eliot looked around and there was a massive, red, fuck-off button barely an inch from Hardison’s hand. A hand that was currently clenched in a white knuckle grip as all of Hardison’s body arched, straining against some force that was stretching him every which way.
</p>
<p>
Eliot slammed his hand over the button.
</p>
<p>
Immediately, Hardison slumped.
</p>
<p>
Eliot rushed over to pull out the connections and get Hardison out of the machine.
</p>
<p>
Hardison was one hundred percent dead weight, a sack of potatoes feebly collapsing into Eliot’s arms. 
</p>
<p>
“You crazy motherfucker,” Eliot gasped. “You -- I can’t believe you.” Eliot was angry beyond words. Of all the stupid bone-headed things, Drifting with a Kaiju was by far the worst one Eliot had ever heard of. He could have died, he could have -- Eliot was shaking.
</p>
<p>
“Hey, here, it’s ok.” Hardison reached out, stronger every second, and Eliot reacted, pulling their mouths together. 
</p>
<p>
The kiss was more desperation than passion. Eliot had no control over it, needing to press himself into Hardison and prove he was real -- a familiar impulse, flipped from its usual target.
</p>
<p>
Hardison was kissing him back. Doing better even. He was working his hands into Eliot’s hair, down his back, making little bitten off noises into Eliot’s mouth.
</p>
<p>
They kept kissing each other until each kiss hurt more than it helped, lips buzzing and cheeks burning. That’s how Parker found them.
</p>
<p>
Her eyes took in the scene -- the tank, the rig, their bodies curled into each other on the floor. Eliot saw her eyes click over the evidence and come to some conclusion. 
</p>
<p>
She dropped onto the floor in a squat, pulling Hardison’s face back to search his eyes. She ran her hands over his face, efficient, checking the back of his head, lightly pressing his temples. All of the things Eliot should have done to make sure Hardison wasn’t bleeding out in front of him. 
</p>
<p>
Finally she nodded and rocked back on her heels slightly.
</p>
<p>
Eliot prepared himself to detach from Hardison, hand him over, when Parker reached out a hand to Eliot, stabilising herself and rooting him to the spot. She squeezed his arm.
</p>
<p>
“Ok,” she said. “Explain.”
</p>
<p>
***
</p>
<p>
After that, everything happened really fast. Parker was yelling for Nate and Sophie as they dragged Hardison behind them. 
</p>
<p>
Turned out Eliot should maybe have paid some attention when Hardison was rambling about his theories, cause then he could have predicted Hardison would pull this dumbass stunt. Hardison had been convinced that the Kaiju were part of a hive intelligence, and if he could tap into it, he could figure out what they were doing. 
</p>
<p>
He was right.
</p>
<p>
Hardison saw the wound in the Earth’s crust that the Kaiju were painstakingly widening, their doorway into our world.
</p>
<p>
But that knife sliced both ways -- Hardison knew about the Kaiju and now the Kaiju knew about him and there was no way they’d leave their vulnerability for long. Their window was limited to do something about this before the Kaiju rose out of the ocean in force to wipe them off the planet. 
</p>
<p>
They had to close that fissure.
</p>
<p>
Eliot was reeling as they dragged themselves into a briefing room. Hardison was too weak to work the equipment, but Nate managed to take them through some maps, pinpointed with Hardison’s information. 
</p>
<p>
At the end of everything was a diagram of a bomb, and a place to deliver it to. Two pictures that made up a promise of a better future.
</p>
<p>
Eliot stared at it grimly. 
</p>
<p>
He was in the army before the Kaiju, briefly before the world went to shit, but still. He knew his fair share about demolition. 
</p>
<p>
***
</p>
<p>
He stomped off back to his quarters to get suited up, hands working on his shirt buttons. When he opened the door, he almost tripped, shirttails flapping, because Parker was already sitting on his bunk.
</p>
<p>
“Where’s Hardison?” he asked stupidly.
</p>
<p>
“Still in the medical ward.” Her eyes were dark and her mouth was pulled down. “The question is, why aren’t you there?”
</p>
<p>
He didn’t say anything.
</p>
<p>
She stood up, throwing her hands up. “I don’t believe you!”
</p>
<p>
She was angry, she had a right to be angry. He had kissed her boyfriend.
</p>
<p>
He squared his feet and braced himself. 
</p>
<p>
“You should be with him,” Parker said. Eliot was pulled up short. “He was asking after you.” 
</p>
<p>
Despite himself, Eliot flinched.
</p>
<p>
But Parker read it on him, she’d been inside his head way too much not to see the signs. “I knew it. You <em>are </em>going off on some suicide mission.”
</p>
<p>
Eliot knew his face gave him away. But he didn’t regret it. He couldn’t call what he was doing every day living, not really, and this way everyone else had the best chance. What was his life right now? He was half a man, coveting that which was not his. He was a shadow lurking near some damn fine lights, but he’d never be able to join in. 
</p>
<p>
So he made a plan. He’d save Hardison, hell, maybe even the world, and all it would cost was his life. Eliot knew the record for piloting a Jaeger solo, he’d set it, after all, and that one was half broken and wanted to fall apart. This was different, he had something to fight for. He knew how long he could hold out and it would be enough.
</p>
<p>
He looked at Parker and saw the anger coming off of her in waves. It wasn’t anything dramatic, nothing that would register on someone else but it was all in the small things, her raised shoulders, the way her fingers were flicking.
</p>
<p>
“It’s the best way.” Of this he was assured.
</p>
<p>
She gripped her hair, pulling at the roots. “For who? What about--”
</p>
<p>
Eliot cut her off. “Hardison will be fine.” They’d only kissed once, he’d get over it. He’d be happy.
</p>
<p>
She glared at him, jaw tilted. “I was going to say ‘What about me?’”
</p>
<p>
What about her? He hadn’t thought… She had Hardison, and Sophie, and she was Nate’s favourite, everyone knew that.
</p>
<p>
That must have come through on his face because she made an incoherent noise of anger and frustration.
</p>
<p>
He spread his hands. “It’ll be ok -- you won’t feel it when I go,” not like Eliot had, tied in the Drift.
</p>
<p>
That’s when Parker threw the punch.
</p>
<p>
It was sloppy, telegraphed to hell and he thought, this might as well happen, let her hit me and make it a clean break. He braced himself but at the last second his body took over and he sidestepped it. Drift partners couldn’t hit each other; they spent too much time spent learning the patterns, moving in sync.
</p>
<p>
She threw herself at him instead, pinning his arms to his sides, an action too violent to be a hug.
</p>
<p>
“You’re so fixated on orgasms,” she spat, voice slightly muffled into his chest. “You think you only loved Sam cause you were fucking him?” 
</p>
<p>
Maybe Drift partners<em> could</em> hit each other, because he felt those words in his gut. 
</p>
<p>
“You’re a part of me, just as much as I am of you. I reach for you in the mornings to steal the heat from your blanket, I put extra potatoes on my plate cause you never take enough, and I’ve spent so much time learning how to leg lock cause you thought it was important!” She was breathing hard, chest rising and falling where it was pressed against his breastbone. “You’re my Drift partner, and I don’t want another. If you go down, I’m going too.”
</p>
<p>
Eliot felt a chill in his spine, icing out the bruising her words had left.
</p>
<p>
He couldn’t imagine anything taking her down. Parker was the most alive person he’d ever met. She was a five-pound tornado, tearing down the world around her and arranging it to be the way she’d like. When Nate had brought Eliot in, bedraggled, no one thought he would be able to Drift again, the circuits in his brain were all blown out. But after they’d sparred, Parker hadn’t listened to the experts. She’d just set her jaw and planted her heels and said she was going to have him, and just like that, Eliot’s whole world changed.
</p>
<p>
Eliot could feel that jaw set now and he hated it because it meant death. There was no coming back from this mission, not alone, not even with her. Tornado couldn’t beat sea.
</p>
<p>
His voice came out scratchy. “What’s the other option, huh? Someone has to do this, and there ain’t no reason for two people to die.”
</p>
<p>
Parker bit him. Right on the chest.
</p>
<p>
“Ow,” he said mildly.
</p>
<p>
She pulled back a little to glare at him, nose running, eyes red. “How about we do it together and no one dies?” She continued, “Alec’s got satellite imaging he can walk us through, and no one has better maneuvers in their Jaeger than us. You can’t tell me you honestly think you’re better alone than we are together.” <em>You idiot, </em>went unspoken, but he heard it.
</p>
<p>
And no, he wasn’t better alone. They could do things in a Jaeger that should have counted as art. If there were an olympics for Jaeger combat, they’d win a gold medal on style alone.
</p>
<p>
Before this war, the only war that counted, Eliot had been a soldier and he’d learned to recognise a battle when it was already lost. He had his arguments, and they were numerous and plentiful but Parker had the higher ground.
</p>
<p>
Hell. They were going to do this. 
</p>
<p>
“You know, if you’re too angry with me, we won’t be able to Drift.” <em>I’m in this, </em>he meant.
</p>
<p>
“I’m always angry with you,” she shot back, “you stupid man.” And he heard: <em>Let’s get it done.</em>
</p>
<p>
***
</p>
<p>
Hardison was hobbling about when Eliot and Parker were suiting up. 
</p>
<p>
“Don’t think I haven’t heard what you were going to do,” Hardison warned, “you will be getting an earful from me later.”
</p>
<p>
Eliot just smiled at him, which made Hardison gape. But what did Eliot want to fight with Hardison for? They were probably going to die, and Eliot figured he might go out on good terms. <em>Never go to a suicide mission angry, </em>he could almost hear in Sam’s wry voice. Eliot had always been shit at relaxing and letting go, and Sam had always just said, <em>what’s the point worrying your head off? We could be dead this time tomorrow. </em>
</p>
<p>
Well, it had taken him years, but he was going to be dead tomorrow, and at least Sam would approve of how he went out.
</p>
<p>
Some inkling told him that this argument wouldn’t be convincing to Hardison, so Eliot put a hand on his shoulder. “If we live, you can say whatever you like to me.” Eliot’s lips twitched. “Hell, I might even pay attention. For once.” Well, maybe he couldn’t fully stop being himself, but Sam had still loved him anyway.
</p>
<p>
Parker rolled her eyes but he could see her smiling, it was all in the way her nose crinkled up, just a little.
</p>
<p>
Hardison squawked. “Excuse you, you should be so lucky to get to listen to what I have to say. Stop smiling, both of you. I mean it.” But Eliot couldn’t help himself. He felt like his face was going to split in two. 
</p>
<p>
“Leave him alone, Alec, he’s having feelings and he doesn’t know what to do with it.” Parker said matter-of-factly as she checked Eliot’s straps. Automatically he turned to do the same. All the buckles were in place, all the snaps were closed. She was as ready as she was ever going to be.
</p>
<p>
When he turned back, Alec’s eyes were warm, so he couldn’t have been too het up.
</p>
<p>
“Kiss for luck?” Alec said, and Eliot waited for Parker to step in. But Alec just reached out and grabbed Eliot’s lapels.
</p>
<p>
“Mmph,” Eliot said as Alec smashed their faces together. But Alec didn’t let go, and Eliot responded, let Alec transform the kiss into something richer, something with intent. Eliot melted. 
</p>
<p>
It wasn’t a long kiss, but Eliot was wobbling when Hardison let him go.
</p>
<p>
Hardison turned to Parker, expectantly.
</p>
<p>
“I don’t believe in luck,” she said.
</p>
<p>
“Kiss me anyway?” Hardison asked, eyes dancing.
</p>
<p>
“Alright,” Parker said, and leaned in. Eliot whistled. Damn, they could kiss. A couple seconds later, Parker jumped down, getting her legs back under her from where she’d wrapped them around Hardison. 
</p>
<p>
Eliot had worried he’d feel jealous, and maybe he would at some point, but when he was watching them, all he could think was, <em>we’re actually going to fucking do this.</em>
</p>
<p>
He couldn’t say where the certainty came from, when just twenty minutes ago he had been ready -- no, expecting -- to die. But he looked at them, his people, and thought, <em>screw this, I want to live</em>.
</p>
<p>
***
</p>
<p>
Planting the bomb was never going to be the hard part, even though Hardison’s guidance was mighty helpful. Hardison was all business over the radio, voice clear as he talked them through information only he could see. They dove down under the water, searching out the rift that let their enemy into their world.
</p>
<p>
It wasn’t enough though, because once they got there and Hardison told them how to arm the bomb that would seal the Kaiju away forever, they had to get away from the explosion, a distance that seemed infinite. Parker had been right. Alone, Eliot hadn’t stood a chance; with her <em>The Brewpub</em> moved like a fish, slicing through the water.
</p>
<p>
But then Eliot was right, too, because <em>The Brewpub</em> couldn’t hold up, no matter how fast they swam the water was getting in, pressing in on them from all sides. Eliot knew the second Parker realised she was trapped because her realisation shot through the Drift like lightning, almost knocking Eliot out. He grit his teeth, fighting to stay with her. He couldn’t leave her alone, not now. 
</p>
<p>
For Parker, their Jaeger had meant freedom and power, but for Eliot it had always been a coffin -- from the moment he stepped foot in one he knew he was going to die there.
</p>
<p>
But he would be damned if he was going to let Parker live her nightmare.
</p>
<p>
Eliot did the unthinkable: he disconnected himself from the Drift. Being alone in his head was a lurch but as soon as he did it he felt calmer. Parker’s features were scrunched up, eyes twitching. He wanted to soothe her, press his thumb against her eyebrow until it relaxed, but he didn’t have time. 
</p>
<p>
“Come on, Parker,” he muttered, as he started yanking on her straps. When he dropped out of the Drift it should have taken her out too, so whatever was going on was happening inside her own head. That didn’t make it any less dangerous.
</p>
<p>
When he got her out he just threw her over his shoulder, staggering over to the release hatches on the top of the Jaeger. But he’d need her awake and helping or they were both going to drown.
</p>
<p>
“Come on,” he repeated, shaking her gently. “You need to open your eyes.”
</p>
<p>
She just whimpered.
</p>
<p>
Eliot sighed. They were out of time.
</p>
<p>
“Breathe in,” he ordered in his sternest tone and, her eyes snapped open. She breathed in. Maybe it was all of that time together in the Drift, maybe it was just random chance, but Eliot didn’t question it. He hit the emergency release and water crashed into the cockpit.
</p>
<p>
He was braced for it. 
</p>
<p>
Holding Parker tight to him he pushed off, blindly swimming upwards. He kicked, and kicked, but instead of the world around them getting brighter, it only got darker, the edges closing in. 
</p>
<p>
And then a whoosh as Parker smacked him in the chest, activating their flotation devices.
</p>
<p>
***
</p>
<p>
Eliot was sitting in the middle of the Pacific ocean, on a raft, haloed by the glow of the safety dye their raft had released when Parker expanded it. She must have dragged him onto it, but it was all a blur until this moment when he could see everything with total clarity. He was alive.
</p>
<p>
He started laughing.
</p>
<p>
Parker beamed at him and he wasn’t sure who moved first but they suddenly they were kneeling, clinging to each other like there was no way they could ever be close enough, foreheads pressed together so they could breathe the same air.
</p>
<p>
“--there? Parker? Elliot? Do you copy?” Hardison’s voice was faint, but getting stronger on every word.
</p>
<p>
Elliot’s fingers were numb and his fingers slipped as he tried to activate his radio. He finally got the button pushed, but it was Parker who said, “We’re here, Alec.” 
</p>
<p>
Eliot let his hand fall and the sound of Hardison’s voice carried him home.
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Comments make my day! Even copying a line means a lot. Also, if you've got any names for Nate's Jaeger, I would love to hear them.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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